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Showing posts from April, 2017

Another Hundred People, or Why I Love Cities

The first time I went to New York City, I was 18 years old and was in heaven as I saw the buildings, art, streets, parks, and most of all, the people.  Stephen Sondheim said it best when he wrote "It's a city of strangers.  Some come to work, some come to play.  A city of strangers.  Some come to stare, some come to stay." Over the years, I have been every one of those people.  Working, playing, staring, staying.  That is what I have done most of my life, wherever I have lived.  I like to o to the library to write and do research because I like to look at the people around me.  I like to think of them, their stories, their troubles, what makes them happy, what makes them sad. "And another hundred people just got off of the train."  The amount of people in this world astound me.  I reamember the first time I walked into a Broadway Theatre, and saw the most amazing cast put on the most amazing show.  And then I did it the next da...

That is not the whole story

      I remember the first time I saw Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods.   I had attended a school production where the director had decided it would only be appropriate to put on the first act.   The music was fun, the story cute, and the lyrical rhymes of Mr. Sondheim were pure genius.   However, my sister informed me that this production was not the full story, and she had me watch the entire Broadway production that had been filmed for PBS with the original Broadway Cast.             Of course, now I have seen this show countless times in countless places, including the Disney movie produced only a few years ago, and it is one of my favorite pieces of musical theatre.  I have never forgotten the importance of the lesson of my sister that day: that is not the whole story.  At the end of act one, as the narrator points out, everyone is happy ever after.  All the stories have been t...

I'm A Humanitarian

Recently I took my ten year old to see a play with me.  Part of the show covered the story of Malala Yousafzai, an amazing individual that deserves to have many plays and stories written about her.  At one point, Malala was called a humanitarian, and my daughter gasped excitedly and looked at me. That word has been associated with my work and subsequently myself, so my daughter said in a thrilled whisper "she is a humanitarian, like you!" Now, I am no Malala.  I have not been through the tragedies she has faced, and I have never had anyone withhold my ability to go to school based upon my gender.  The word humanitarian, though, means to be someone who is concerned with or seeks to promote human welfare.  So, yes.  I am a humanitarian.  I am proud that I have spent my life caring about the welfare of others. On days like today, being a humanitarian leaves me feeling tired, scared, and worried that nothing I do really will make much of a difference. ...

Hold On

The Secret Garden was one of the first chapter books I ever read.   The entire story filled my young imagination with thoughts of far off places and rich manors and chamber maids and hidden beauty.   So, in 1991, when my 12 year old self discovered that there was a musical based on the story, and a little girl like me won a Tony award for singing songs on a stage, my heart nearly burst.   I spent many an afternoon in the 7 th grade in my friend Michelle’s basement, belting out songs until my voice went hoarse.   However, it was in 8 th grade, when my young life was full of the drama that was the epitome of suffering in my world view that one song took on more meaning.   Of course, I look at my naiveté back then and smile that I thought that I had any troubles at all. Although the clarity of age and experience tells me my troubles at the time were minor, the lessons of theatre and music penetrated my young mind and the lyrics and meaning of the song have he...

A Piece of Sky

Watch this video! Last night I attended Lea Salonga in concert with the BYU Chamber Orchestra.  It was announced there that this same concert will be presented in May when the Orchestra joins Ms. Salonga in Manila, Philippines.  There will also be a documentary aired on BYU tv sometime in the fall about the Orchestra's trip and how this all came about. Such a fantastic opportunity for societies next generation of music makers. As for a concert, it has been rare that I have attended a concert that had a perfect set list from start to finish, but from Sondheim's Another Hundred People, to a finale consisting of Defying Gravity, True Colors, and an Abba medley, it was clear that Lea Salonga has only improved with age, if that is possible, since her early days as a young actress making her US debut in Miss Saigon.  I enjoyed every single song in her set, and found myself wishing it could go on all night. Right before her intermission, she sang the song I have linked abov...

The Down Times

Depression is such a difficult thing to describe, let alone deal with.  I am what is called a functionally depressed and anxious person.  This means I am able to for the most part meet my obligations, keep my job, put food on the table, and appear to be fine. What goes on inside is a completely different story.  I spend most mornings convincing myself that it is ok to get out of bed.  I spend most days telling myself that I will be ok.  I spend most days wishing and hoping for the time I can crawl back into bed again. I do not like looking in the mirror.  I struggle with positive feedback because I do not feel I deserve it, and negative feedback because I internalize it.  I question basically every move I make because of the anxiety it makes me feel. I also have times when all I want to do is stay in bed, away from all the stress.  I have times when it feels like I am physically dragging a weight behind me that cannot be lifted no matter wha...

Lion King, Lagoon, and Loneliness

Have you ever had a weekend full of fun and happiness, and yet you sit at the end of the time feeling empty?  It is a feeling I have often, though I hate to admit it.  I am surrounded by people who love me.  I have a home and a job and a car.  I am better off than so many others because of these three things.  I have two daughters that I adore.  The loneliness still comes.  The fear of the endless night, the lack of having something to hold to. I bought tickets to the Broadway touring company of the Lion King months ago as a Christmas present, and last Thursday was finally the day to have the experience with my daughters.  It was all I could have ever wished for, and then some.  The amazing experience of watching a show like that come alive is phenomenal now, just as it was 20 years ago when I first got to see it on Broadway.  Seeing it with young children is actually one of my favorite moments, from the time I went with my nephew who ...

Who tells your story?

I read a lot of leadership and self-help type books for work.  Currently we are reading a book called Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek.  Today as I read, he was discussing how we have a more empathetic reaction to a story of one specific individual than we do to countless numbers of people. He states that this is why we listen to far away tragedies with a small sense of sadness perhaps, but we run to the aid of those we know and love or who are connected to us in some fashion.  I agree with this assessment.  I find myself more willing and able to jump to the aid of those whose stories are close to me.  Often that is because I know I cannot save or make a difference to everyone. However, I think this also says something about the importance of storytelling.  In 2013, the name Alexander Hamilton would likely mean nothing more than some guy in the early government of the United States that was shot, until Lin-Manuel Miranda decided to write a musical that util...

When you're broken on the ground

You will be found Today I found out a friend of mine that I care about a great deal was in a car accident.  Life has been a challenge for this friend. She is divorced, in school, dealing with children and life and loneliness several states away from her family.  I am the type that wants to run to the side of those in need and help in any way that I can, which is very frustrating when I am far away and cannot do anything. This time, it hurts even more, because, I was her. Alone and scared and frustrated and far from those who I love.  As I drove home, the words from Dear Evan Hansen struck me "Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?  Have you ever felt like you could disappear?  Like you could fall and no one would hear?" Yes, I have felt that.  I have felt the darkness come in around me.  I have read that JK Rowling based the idea of the dementors on her experience with depression, and I have to adm...

The Canyon that is Grand

When a child is in 4th grade, there is a program that gets them a free national parks pass for a year for themselves and their families.  Since I have a 4th grader, this seemed like a very important thing to pay attention to.  I had a few days of leave I could take for spring break, so we begged my brother to tag along, and we went down to the Grand Canyon, or the Canyon that is Grand, as my 6 year old has dubbed it. Elementary School age children are awesome.  Well, at least mine are.  The things they get excited about are thrilling to me.  I remember my family road trips as some of the best times of my childhood.  I am hoping to recreate some of these moments for my children.  Before we left I talked to them about wanting them to enjoy the scenery and the time together, so rather than bringing movies to watch, we brought the Harry Potter books 5 and 6 on CD.  I was really worried about this decision, because I did not know if this would work o...