Maren's Many Moments

I have now spent almost two full days being in the company of theatre critics who have done this for decades, along with newbies like myself.  Some people got their start when a news desk said "we need you to write an entertainment feature, go!"  Some of us, like me, sought out opportunities to be a part of the community. I love theatre.  I have since I was a kid.  And while I am a decent singer, I never really translated well to on stage performance.  Nerves got the best of me.  My voice doesn't match my appearance.  A million other reasons.  So I did back stage stuff, chorus stuff, but really, what it came down to was simply that I enjoy more than anything being in the theatre.  Watching the story unfold.  Watching the actors play their parts.  Connecting and learning and being with others like me and not like me.  Today I saw a quote on the wall at the San Francisco Playhouse that said it perfectly: Making the communi...

I have ventured into San Francisco to participate in the conference for the American Theatre Critics Association #ATCA.   This is my first conference as a new member.  I have also been spending a lot of time hearing about the fact that I graduated from high school 20 years ago.  This causes me to reflect on my senior trip, to New York City, as a young Utahn who really knew very little about the world and even less about art and theatre, though I had well worn CDs and CD jackets of lyrics and felt myself to be an expert of epic proportions.  Of course, now I am older and wiser and see theatre all over, have been to many places all over the country, lived in two of the best theatre meccas in the United States, and can calmly and eloquently give my expert opinion. Ha! If you believed that last part, you have no clue who I really am.  Every time I come to a new place, I feel like that niave yet excited 18 year old who felt like a rebel stepping into a bar to find ...

What follows is completely my opinion.  I am often frustrated with people who describe something as the only way to do things.  Look, I barely function in my own life.  I have no way of ever telling anyone that my way is better than theirs, or that I know more than they do.  However, I have been specifically requested to write about this from a few different people. People want to know how I find out about the activities that I do with my kids.  They also want to know how I have the energy and such to do these things with the kids.  I have even been asked why these things seem to be such a priority for me. Well, after my divorce, I sat my young daughters down.  And they were very young.  However, life would be different now. They would live in two separate houses.  They would experience things different than their friends.  Also, money would be different.  Now, to this day I do not know if what I did was right or wrong, but it s...

The animated movie the Prince of Egypt has one of my favorite songs in it, sung by one of my favorite singers, Brian Stokes Mitchell, and written by one of my favorite composers, Stephen Schwartz.  From the time the movie came out in 1998, it touched me in a way that I continue to remember it during the difficult times I have, when I wonder if I am doing anything that makes much of a difference at all. A single thread in a tapestry, though it's color brightly shines, can never see it's purpose in the pattern of the grand design.  I cannot accurately describe how often I tell myself that I am only one person.  That the things I do are so minimal or unimportant in the grand scheme of things.  This has served a destructive purpose of allowing me to often feel like I am not as worthwhile as others that I know that seem more talented, beautiful, intelligent, or in any other way fabulous than I am. A lake of gold in a desert sand is less than a cool fresh spring. And t...

Once a year, this day comes around.  It is when we are supposed to give thanks for our mothers.  I have a wonderful mother who I love dearly.  She has been supportive of every decision I have made.  She has been active and proud of me.  She watched my daughter while getting Chemo treatments.  She is someone I will always strive to be like. This day seems to also bring pain.  I think of my dear friend who lost his mom too soon, and loved her more than words could say.  He lost her around Mother's Day, so the day is a double whammy of pain and sadness and loss. I think of another friend, who longed to be a mother, but it never happened.  She hides out on Mother's Day, turns off all social media, and tries to do anything she can to get through the reminders of the pain of this day. I think of another friend, whose mother had drug addiction and mental health issues and so many problems that she was never really the mother that this person ne...

When the musical South Pacific came out in 1949, it caused quite the controversy.  Rogers and Hammerstein were encouraged to leave out the song You've Got to be Carefully Taught, because it was seen as a song that justified interracial relationships and was far to risque.  However, the pair persisted and South Pacific was and is still a major hit. Yet, I still feel like hate is taught.   I spent my evening learning about the small African country of Burundi this evening.  It was interesting, insightful, and fun.  I was invited to come up and dance, and felt like quite the fool with my chubby 5 foot nothing frame and my Scandinavian lack of dance heritage, but no one cared.  They just welcomed us all up with them and draped beautiful fabric around us while we danced. One woman told of how she was kicked out of a country because she was from Burundi, and living in the country where her husband was from.  When her husband died, leaving her and her sma...

Click Here This was a beautiful production.  I am so glad I got a chance to see it.

The first time I went to New York City, I was 18 years old and was in heaven as I saw the buildings, art, streets, parks, and most of all, the people.  Stephen Sondheim said it best when he wrote "It's a city of strangers.  Some come to work, some come to play.  A city of strangers.  Some come to stare, some come to stay." Over the years, I have been every one of those people.  Working, playing, staring, staying.  That is what I have done most of my life, wherever I have lived.  I like to o to the library to write and do research because I like to look at the people around me.  I like to think of them, their stories, their troubles, what makes them happy, what makes them sad. "And another hundred people just got off of the train."  The amount of people in this world astound me.  I reamember the first time I walked into a Broadway Theatre, and saw the most amazing cast put on the most amazing show.  And then I did it the next da...

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      I remember the first time I saw Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods.   I had attended a school production where the director had decided it would only be appropriate to put on the first act.   The music was fun, the story cute, and the lyrical rhymes of Mr. Sondheim were pure genius.   However, my sister informed me that this production was not the full story, and she had me watch the entire Broadway production that had been filmed for PBS with the original Broadway Cast.             Of course, now I have seen this show countless times in countless places, including the Disney movie produced only a few years ago, and it is one of my favorite pieces of musical theatre.  I have never forgotten the importance of the lesson of my sister that day: that is not the whole story.  At the end of act one, as the narrator points out, everyone is happy ever after.  All the stories have been t...

Click here! Check out my latest review for Utah Theatre Bloggers!

Recently I took my ten year old to see a play with me.  Part of the show covered the story of Malala Yousafzai, an amazing individual that deserves to have many plays and stories written about her.  At one point, Malala was called a humanitarian, and my daughter gasped excitedly and looked at me. That word has been associated with my work and subsequently myself, so my daughter said in a thrilled whisper "she is a humanitarian, like you!" Now, I am no Malala.  I have not been through the tragedies she has faced, and I have never had anyone withhold my ability to go to school based upon my gender.  The word humanitarian, though, means to be someone who is concerned with or seeks to promote human welfare.  So, yes.  I am a humanitarian.  I am proud that I have spent my life caring about the welfare of others. On days like today, being a humanitarian leaves me feeling tired, scared, and worried that nothing I do really will make much of a difference. ...

The Secret Garden was one of the first chapter books I ever read.   The entire story filled my young imagination with thoughts of far off places and rich manors and chamber maids and hidden beauty.   So, in 1991, when my 12 year old self discovered that there was a musical based on the story, and a little girl like me won a Tony award for singing songs on a stage, my heart nearly burst.   I spent many an afternoon in the 7 th grade in my friend Michelle’s basement, belting out songs until my voice went hoarse.   However, it was in 8 th grade, when my young life was full of the drama that was the epitome of suffering in my world view that one song took on more meaning.   Of course, I look at my naiveté back then and smile that I thought that I had any troubles at all. Although the clarity of age and experience tells me my troubles at the time were minor, the lessons of theatre and music penetrated my young mind and the lyrics and meaning of the song have he...

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Watch this video! Last night I attended Lea Salonga in concert with the BYU Chamber Orchestra.  It was announced there that this same concert will be presented in May when the Orchestra joins Ms. Salonga in Manila, Philippines.  There will also be a documentary aired on BYU tv sometime in the fall about the Orchestra's trip and how this all came about. Such a fantastic opportunity for societies next generation of music makers. As for a concert, it has been rare that I have attended a concert that had a perfect set list from start to finish, but from Sondheim's Another Hundred People, to a finale consisting of Defying Gravity, True Colors, and an Abba medley, it was clear that Lea Salonga has only improved with age, if that is possible, since her early days as a young actress making her US debut in Miss Saigon.  I enjoyed every single song in her set, and found myself wishing it could go on all night. Right before her intermission, she sang the song I have linked abov...

Depression is such a difficult thing to describe, let alone deal with.  I am what is called a functionally depressed and anxious person.  This means I am able to for the most part meet my obligations, keep my job, put food on the table, and appear to be fine. What goes on inside is a completely different story.  I spend most mornings convincing myself that it is ok to get out of bed.  I spend most days telling myself that I will be ok.  I spend most days wishing and hoping for the time I can crawl back into bed again. I do not like looking in the mirror.  I struggle with positive feedback because I do not feel I deserve it, and negative feedback because I internalize it.  I question basically every move I make because of the anxiety it makes me feel. I also have times when all I want to do is stay in bed, away from all the stress.  I have times when it feels like I am physically dragging a weight behind me that cannot be lifted no matter wha...

Have you ever had a weekend full of fun and happiness, and yet you sit at the end of the time feeling empty?  It is a feeling I have often, though I hate to admit it.  I am surrounded by people who love me.  I have a home and a job and a car.  I am better off than so many others because of these three things.  I have two daughters that I adore.  The loneliness still comes.  The fear of the endless night, the lack of having something to hold to. I bought tickets to the Broadway touring company of the Lion King months ago as a Christmas present, and last Thursday was finally the day to have the experience with my daughters.  It was all I could have ever wished for, and then some.  The amazing experience of watching a show like that come alive is phenomenal now, just as it was 20 years ago when I first got to see it on Broadway.  Seeing it with young children is actually one of my favorite moments, from the time I went with my nephew who ...

I read a lot of leadership and self-help type books for work.  Currently we are reading a book called Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek.  Today as I read, he was discussing how we have a more empathetic reaction to a story of one specific individual than we do to countless numbers of people. He states that this is why we listen to far away tragedies with a small sense of sadness perhaps, but we run to the aid of those we know and love or who are connected to us in some fashion.  I agree with this assessment.  I find myself more willing and able to jump to the aid of those whose stories are close to me.  Often that is because I know I cannot save or make a difference to everyone. However, I think this also says something about the importance of storytelling.  In 2013, the name Alexander Hamilton would likely mean nothing more than some guy in the early government of the United States that was shot, until Lin-Manuel Miranda decided to write a musical that util...

You will be found Today I found out a friend of mine that I care about a great deal was in a car accident.  Life has been a challenge for this friend. She is divorced, in school, dealing with children and life and loneliness several states away from her family.  I am the type that wants to run to the side of those in need and help in any way that I can, which is very frustrating when I am far away and cannot do anything. This time, it hurts even more, because, I was her. Alone and scared and frustrated and far from those who I love.  As I drove home, the words from Dear Evan Hansen struck me "Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?  Have you ever felt like you could disappear?  Like you could fall and no one would hear?" Yes, I have felt that.  I have felt the darkness come in around me.  I have read that JK Rowling based the idea of the dementors on her experience with depression, and I have to adm...

Treasure Island I got to attend this production with my daughters and nephew. Check it out!

When a child is in 4th grade, there is a program that gets them a free national parks pass for a year for themselves and their families.  Since I have a 4th grader, this seemed like a very important thing to pay attention to.  I had a few days of leave I could take for spring break, so we begged my brother to tag along, and we went down to the Grand Canyon, or the Canyon that is Grand, as my 6 year old has dubbed it. Elementary School age children are awesome.  Well, at least mine are.  The things they get excited about are thrilling to me.  I remember my family road trips as some of the best times of my childhood.  I am hoping to recreate some of these moments for my children.  Before we left I talked to them about wanting them to enjoy the scenery and the time together, so rather than bringing movies to watch, we brought the Harry Potter books 5 and 6 on CD.  I was really worried about this decision, because I did not know if this would work o...

Yes, I am on the Brene Brown bandwagon.  I first heard of her when I saw her TED talk, which is apparently how many people heard of her.  It was right when I was in the midst of my divorce and some of the worst emotional times in my life, so the idea of being vulnerable really spoke to me.  I first read the gifts of imperfection, and then found myself impressed and enthralled with a lot of her research and ideas.  Enter Daring Greatly.  I ordered this book off of Amazon along with a myriad of other self-help books when I felt I was ready to start making a better me.  You see, I grew up with a mother who very much believed that books are the answer to everything.  Her answer to many questions was "look it up", which in the prehistoric pre-internet days meant to look at our worn out set of encyclopedia's or go to the library.  So when I awoke from my stupor of a bad marriage and discovered I had lost a lot of who I was, looking up how to heal seeme...

Somehow, by an honest happy accident, I have managed to keep my daughter away from the Harry Potter movies in order to have her read the books first, and then watch the movies, which is how I was able to discover the books in my college years as they came out.  I cannot accurately describe how it feels for me as a lover of entertainment, literature, fantasy, and stories with a good moral lesson, to watch my daughter learn about the things in these books, to discuss the events that take place, and to see the world come alive for her as it did for me.  We are currently in the middle of book five, often reading out loud in the evenings before bed, and then she will continue to read on her own as much as possible to get through to the next step.  At first I worried a little about some of the more mature things, such as death and evil people who would do harm to children, but I have had the wonderful blessing of being able to have deep conversations with my ten year old regard...

My daughters are currently 10 and 6.  My ten year old seems to understand how awesome theatre is, while my 6 year old seems to understand how awesome the spotlight is.  I have been trying to find ways to introduce them to age appropriate ways of understanding the arts. They are both in piano lessons and school choir, and the oldest is in a young actors acting troop.  But then, a marvelous event took place!  Julie's Greenroom dropped on Netflix. Friends! I am happy to report my daughters love Julie's Greenroom.  I actually think I likely love it more, but they do seem to enjoy it a great deal.  So, for those who do not know, Julie's Greenroom is just about the best thing to ever happen to children's television if you are a person like me.  The great Julie Andrews hosts a show of Muppet Children as they learn about all the elements of putting together a theatrical show. The guest stars!  Oh my friends, my friends!  The children learn about th...