Somehow, by an honest happy accident, I have managed to keep my daughter away from the Harry Potter movies in order to have her read the books first, and then watch the movies, which is how I was able to discover the books in my college years as they came out. I cannot accurately describe how it feels for me as a lover of entertainment, literature, fantasy, and stories with a good moral lesson, to watch my daughter learn about the things in these books, to discuss the events that take place, and to see the world come alive for her as it did for me. We are currently in the middle of book five, often reading out loud in the evenings before bed, and then she will continue to read on her own as much as possible to get through to the next step. At first I worried a little about some of the more mature things, such as death and evil people who would do harm to children, but I have had the wonderful blessing of being able to have deep conversations with my ten year old regarding difficult life challenges and how to best handle them when they come our way.
I think it is natural at times for parents to want to shield their children from difficult things in life. We want them to have a nice childhood, full of fun and adventure, with limits on pain and sorrow. We want to keep them from adult problems and issues, and let them just see the wonders of the world. However, I have started to see that this can be a disservice to our children in some ways. In my career, I have met with many people from many cultures and walks of life. Some have had challenges and frustrations practically from birth. Others have had some pretty cushy lives. What is interesting is that those who have been sheltered from life's challenges seem to have a more difficult time when serious problems do arise in adulthood.
Now, I am not saying that we should go out of our way to make sure that our children have difficult lives full of tragedy. What I am saying is that when life happens, we try to work in age appropriate ways to help them adjust and understand. My daughters and I have read a lot of books together to try and help them adjust to the fact that their parents are divorced. When a close friend died, we discussed and faced the difficulties of death. When things are more expensive than we can afford, we talk about money and money management and why we will not go into debt for the coolest toy of the season. When we see homeless people, we talk about homelessness. When we are happy, we talk about that feeling. When we are sad, we talk about that feeling. And when we are angry, we talk about that feeling.
Reading to my daughters has been such a highlight of my parenting experience. My daughters want to be brave like Harry, smart like Hermione, unique like Luna, and wise like Professor McGonagall. They want to accept others, and learn to stand up for what is right. Yes, they also wish they could go to Hogwarts and learn magic, (hey, mom would absolutely love a cleaning spell or two), but they understand that magic is a just a story, while the elements of intelligence, bravery, friendship, and love are real.
My house will never be the cleanest house. I do not have perfect order in my home, nor are my children the most well behaved with their hair always in place. However, one rare day when I got to leave work early and pick my oldest up from school, I saw her standing up for a child who was being bullied on the playground. Another time, I found out my youngest proudly told her friends and teacher that her mom "works with refugees and helps them because there are wars and sometimes girls can't go to school and that is wrong and my mom helps fix it!" I hardly deserve such praise, but I am glad I am raising girls that understand the world is bigger than them, that life is not always perfect, and that people matter far more than items or things. And that Hogwarts is beyond cool.
I think it is natural at times for parents to want to shield their children from difficult things in life. We want them to have a nice childhood, full of fun and adventure, with limits on pain and sorrow. We want to keep them from adult problems and issues, and let them just see the wonders of the world. However, I have started to see that this can be a disservice to our children in some ways. In my career, I have met with many people from many cultures and walks of life. Some have had challenges and frustrations practically from birth. Others have had some pretty cushy lives. What is interesting is that those who have been sheltered from life's challenges seem to have a more difficult time when serious problems do arise in adulthood.
Now, I am not saying that we should go out of our way to make sure that our children have difficult lives full of tragedy. What I am saying is that when life happens, we try to work in age appropriate ways to help them adjust and understand. My daughters and I have read a lot of books together to try and help them adjust to the fact that their parents are divorced. When a close friend died, we discussed and faced the difficulties of death. When things are more expensive than we can afford, we talk about money and money management and why we will not go into debt for the coolest toy of the season. When we see homeless people, we talk about homelessness. When we are happy, we talk about that feeling. When we are sad, we talk about that feeling. And when we are angry, we talk about that feeling.
Reading to my daughters has been such a highlight of my parenting experience. My daughters want to be brave like Harry, smart like Hermione, unique like Luna, and wise like Professor McGonagall. They want to accept others, and learn to stand up for what is right. Yes, they also wish they could go to Hogwarts and learn magic, (hey, mom would absolutely love a cleaning spell or two), but they understand that magic is a just a story, while the elements of intelligence, bravery, friendship, and love are real.
My house will never be the cleanest house. I do not have perfect order in my home, nor are my children the most well behaved with their hair always in place. However, one rare day when I got to leave work early and pick my oldest up from school, I saw her standing up for a child who was being bullied on the playground. Another time, I found out my youngest proudly told her friends and teacher that her mom "works with refugees and helps them because there are wars and sometimes girls can't go to school and that is wrong and my mom helps fix it!" I hardly deserve such praise, but I am glad I am raising girls that understand the world is bigger than them, that life is not always perfect, and that people matter far more than items or things. And that Hogwarts is beyond cool.
Reading with my children has always been a highlight, especially now as a single parent. You are awesome, Maren! Your girls are beyond lucky to have you for a mother.
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